


i love you as much as i loved that teddy bear, only now my love has grown

by hyacinth4maria



Series: drabbles [4]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Childhood Memories, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, Reminiscing, Teddy Bears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25874134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinth4maria/pseuds/hyacinth4maria
Summary: When Catra was young, she'd had a teddy bear.It was a fuzzy thing, small and brown and just the right shape for a child to hold.Shadow Weaver used to say that it was all that her family had cared to leave her with.-There are a lot of things Catra has outgrown, but she'll never outgrow her love for Adora.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Series: drabbles [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876042
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	i love you as much as i loved that teddy bear, only now my love has grown

When Catra was young, she'd had a teddy bear. 

It was a fuzzy thing, small and brown and just the right shape for a child to hold.

Shadow Weaver used to say that it was all that her family had cared to leave her with. 

The other kids used to tease her for carrying it with her, especially the older ones. Catra never forgot their jeers, their snarling faces as they poked at all of Catra's weaknesses. 

But those taunts never stopped her from stringing that teddy bear along to her every destination. 

She clutched it as she walked through the halls, she hid her face in its furry belly during lessons, and she held it when she slept. 

She never wanted anyone touch it. 

Anyone but Adora. 

Adora can never be denied anything from anyone, she is a golden child in every sense of the word, bright and beautiful and the kind of person you'd _want_ to give to. Catra has never been an exception to Adora's allure.

And Adora was her best friend and the only one who understood, who saw that teddy bear and saw it for what it was. Comfort. 

So Catra let her hold it when she needed to and offered it when Adora was too proud to ask. 

As they grew bigger, the teddy bear grew smaller. 

It had never been perfect. Catra doesn't remember it ever not having frayed ears or missing patches of fuzzy hair. But eventually, it began falling apart, from Adora and Catra's roughhousing, from other kids' cruel pranks, and from sheer age. 

When it was just a torso and a half-decapitated head, Catra pushed it aside. 

She tried to convince herself that she didn't need it anymore anyway, that she was better off. 

And because she is nothing if not stubborn, she managed it. 

Until Adora left and her bed became lonely for the first time in a long time. 

Catra hadn't felt so lost, so out of balance, ever in her life. 

She'd wondered then, during those cold nights when her fingers would stretch unconsiously and find only a cold absence, if this is how she felt as a baby, abandoned by her family. 

Catra grew to dread the nights, she would spend extra time hunched over maps, muttering plans to herself. She'd go outside and kick old dummies until they snapped in half. She'd do anything to escape her own head, to ignore her memories. 

She kept seeing Adora's face, hearing her laugh, and she couldn't help herself from thinking of that offer she'd made, when everything went wrong.

 _I could be with Adora right now,_ She would think, her heart clenching in her chest at the thought. 

_But then again,_ that terrible voice in the back of her mind would remind her, _Adora could be with me._

So she fought and she clawed at Adora's skin and she threatened her newfound friends. 

She screamed and insulted her until her chest ached as much as much as her throat. 

But in the nights, when she returned to the only semblance of a home she'd ever known, she'd crumble under the loneliness bearing down on her shoulders. 

Her eyes would burn with the tears she wouldn't let fall, just like her mouth hurt with all the words she did and did not say. 

When her bed was too big for her body, she'd think of that teddy bear and wonder if it would make her feel any better, if it would lessen even a fraction of her pain. 

Shadow Weaver had made her throw it out years before then.

Catra wouldn't have know where to look if she had even bothered to. 

There were times when she almost dared to, but she'd always be held back by the same voice that pushed Adora away. 

But the years pass and with it, so does the pain.

When Catra is older, but still young, she gets a new teddy bear. 

Unlike the previous, this one is large, almost tall enough to reach Catra's waist. But it's got the same big bead eyes and the same brown fur.

And even though she doesn't need it anymore, and hasn't needed it for a long time, she begins to cry. 

All those lonely nights, breaking and breaking and broken, she'd hoped and dreamed and wished for that damn teddy bear, when all she'd wanted was for Adora to come back. And now she has Adora. 

What could she need a teddy bear for?

But she sees that bear and sees Adora, who grins as she holds it out, and feels overwhelmed by the love surrounding her. 

She's _home_ , finally.

This time, she doesn't have to wonder if that teddy bear came from someone who'd loved her, because she knows. 

And when she kisses Adora, deep and slow like they've got all the time in the world (because they do), she holds her teddy bear close. 

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this to a prompt of "catradora + teddy bear" on twitter, where i'm trying to expand my writing skill. if anyone wants to offer a prompt from my tweet, you can do so here: [♡](https://twitter.com/hyacinth4maria/status/1293018042448793600?s=19%5D)


End file.
